4. You can’t smell while you’re sleeping
So it wasn’t the smell of the fart that woke you up. It was probably the sound.
5. Have you ever noticed the cyclist in the R of this logo?
Insert Lance Armstrong testicle and/or steroid joke here.
6. Toad is the most profane Super Mario character
7. What about this nugget of truth?
Oh my god, I’ve literally been telling everyone that I would rather eat chocolate ice cream than listen to them talk about stupid chocolate ice cream all day?! How crude.
8. Baby rabbits are actually kittens
Mom, the cat just killed and ate a whole bunch of kittens! That’s not confusing at all.
9. Skittles changed the lime flavor to green apple a few years ago
Any true Skittles fan probably noticed this because green apple tastes like butt hole.
10. You don’t have to unlock your iPhone to respond to texts
What the hell is the point of the lock function, then? Still, this just made my life so much easier.
11. There is a right way and a wrong way to use a bobby pin
And you’ve probably been doing it wrong.
12. The proper way to peel a Mandarin orange
All this time I thought the proper way was to puncture it with your fingernail, get sticky crap all over your wrists, get irrationally angry, throw it against a wall, and then cry.
13. This is a thing you can do
Now you can get access to all the ketchup. And once you’re done, it’s easier to lick the little saucer than to stick your tongue into the cup and drool all over the edges like a savage animal.